Survival of the Fittest

“Families with babies and families without are so sorry for each other.” – Ed Howe

Anyone that has parented a two year old probably knows that two year olds don’t like to wear shoes. You go through all of the trouble of holding your child down while getting the damn things on and eventually tied and they take them off as soon as you get into the car. Once you get to your destination, the battle begins all over again. Get the shoes on and tied, go into the doctor’s office and BAM! they’re right back off.

It’s the never ending battle of wills between parent and child.

My two year old loves to wear shoes! She just doesn’t like to wear anything else. We go through the whole shoe battle only with other items of clothing. Even when it’s bedtime and everyone is sleeping and nobody cares what she looks like, she takes it all off!

Her most flamboyantly nude moment happened early last week. We had done our usual morning routine of changing her out of her diaper into her big girl panties and dress. I was cleaning up the kitchen from breakfast while the children played in Veronica’s room. The doorbell rang and I went to greet whoever was at the door. It was the mailman (lady). She had a special delivery but it wasn’t for us. As I stood there on the porch propping the storm door open with my foot, talking to the mail lady, Veronica and Hudson come up right behind me, making all sorts of noise! Hudson had only a diaper on and Veronica (yes, you guessed it!) was wearing only a smile! An evil smile if I say so myself.

“Hi mail man! Hi mail man!”

I’ve never seen her so excited to see the mailman before. I think she was doing it all on purpose.

The mail lady said hi, laughed, and went on to the next house. I thought that was the end of it.

I thought wrong.

My spry and nimble daughter chased the mail lady, still in the nude, still screaming “Hi mail man! Hi mail man!” I chased after her catching her just in time before she made it down the driveway, Hudson crawled and bawled right behind me the whole time. Luckily, I got both children, myself, and the mail back inside before any of the neighbors had time to call Child Protective Services!


All I can say is I learned my lesson. I was starting to get too comfortable with my kids. I let my guard down a little and relaxed. I forgot they can sense things like that. I’ve got to keep my game face on!

The kids may have won the battle, but the war still rages on!


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